Questions are the answer to many business and personal communications challenges.

By asking questions, you show a genuine interest in the person or people with whom you’re communicating, especially if they’re situation-specific. Questions inform you, too.

My 3 general areas of questioning when stuck for “something to say” are 1) Where did you grow up? [Follow up with questions about the answer], 2) What are your hobbies or pastimes? [Follow up with questions about the answer and inject your hobbies and pastimes], 3) What business are you in? [Follow up with questions about the answer, including “if you weren’t in the X business, what would you rather be doing?”].

Lately, because I’ve found myself on a book reading binge, I also ask about the best books they’ve read recently and which they’d recommend. [Follow up with questions about the answer.] I’ve received a lot of terrific book recommendations and insights about those books, many of which I hadn’t heard of before.

Get comfortable with those kinds of questions and follow up on them. You’ll be surprised how much you’ll learn about others–and you’ll likely even make some new friends and colleagues.

About the fear of sounding “stupid.” I’m a pro at that fear! It’s a terrific opportunity to make fun of yourself, get everyone laughing, and “be human.” Ever notice how the best comics get their audiences laughing? Many use the technique of self-effacement. Most people have an affection for others who can poke fun at themselves. You can use that method, too.

I’ve learned my general areas of questioning are not intrusive, and they make people comfortable. Everyone loves to talk about themselves. As a plus, the more you get others to talk, the better they perceive you to be a fine conversationalist!